No Sunny Afternoon
by Muffins Planned
Summary: Alice's vision of Bella in New Moon, and her reaction to it


**No Sunny Afternoon**

Even though I had promised Edward I would stay away from Bella, in every way possible, I could not help myself sometimes. Worry would grow in my stomach as I though of how fragile she was in her human form, how very easily she could break. Therefore, I would have to assure myself that everything was ok with her by checking on her from time to time. Edward would never know I would keep what I had seen away from my mind when I was around him; I had become more and more successful in hiding things from him with time.

It was depressing to see her, her robotic way of moving about, completing shores that had never been designed to her with a numbness that even I would be down for hours after peering into her future. The impact of Edward leaving her was so vast that I could not even wrap my mind around it. Times like these I was thankful I did not possess the power of reading thoughts as Edward did, or the ones Jasper had. Poor Jasper, he felt so guilty for what he had done, and so did I, because I should have seen this coming, and I should have prevented it. There were so many things that all of us could have done different.

We had taken residence with the Denali's, each one of us feeling lost without Edward, he had always been there, we had all taken him for granted, and now he was gone. From my visions he was not doing any better than Bella. Visions of dark places and roads passing by in a rapid speed, lofts and barns were all I could see, he barely stopped to hunt, and sometimes he was so consumed by his thirst for blood that he could not even think straight, threatening innocent lives. He was stronger than that, though, I thought thankfully.

Both the visions of Bella and Edward had the same tone, the same desperate longing that only they could cure. I did not want to take a part of that, but I needed to know that my brother and the love of his life were doing all right despite circumstances. They were doing well; I had to admit that, even though it broke my heart that this was the way being all right was defined to them.

Long before the vision had come to me, I had feared that it would eventually result in this. It would have a deathly outcome. Before I had not considered that there was something more hazardous than traffic, vampires, and other things falling into that category for Bella, she herself was a threat for her own wellbeing. Humans were delicate in many more ways than a vampire was, their emotional state was much more sensitive, this was very easy to forget, and much easier for me since I had no memories of having a human life, this was all I knew.

At first there had just been two pair of feet sticking out from a cliff, the soles of their shoes were worn, and for a while that was all I could see, and it bugged me since my visions used to be more detailed than that, at least a bit more.

I shared this vision with Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett and Esme, and neither could make much more sense of it than I could. Rosalie would not care either way, so I spared her the two minutes it would take to tell her.

A few days later the vision changed slightly, it was only one pair of feet, and this person was not standing by the edge of the cliff, but a bit further back, the shoes were the same, but this time I saw the hair, too. It was unmistakably Bella's hair, and it made sense why I would be having visions of her. The vision did not make sense; the only thing that seemed threatening in this vision was the very strong wind. Maybe she would fall; maybe that was why I was having it. It was possible that she would fall on the hard rock she was standing on and hurt herself. I felt a tug on my still heart when I thought that there was no way to help her.

Jasper kept himself by my side, sensing my uneasiness, and I thanked him for it. There was no way to describe Jasper; he was everything I could ever wish for in my life. During the nights and days here he would let me curl up in his lap when the sadness got too much for us, and he would dim the hurt slightly so that I could be happy with him for a few hours. In a few years time, Bella would grow old, and then she would die, there was no question of that now, and then Edward might come back to us, or he might feel an immense regret that would force him to make rash decisions. Volturi; he had thought about it, and decided it so many times over the past months, I did not know what was stopping him, maybe it was us, but for how long would that help?

As I lay curled up in Jasper's lap, after I had realized that the vision had been of Bella, and yet another vision of Edward moving restlessly over a field with the broken look etched on his face. Jasper spoke about Emmett and his adventure while hunting a bear while they had been out hunting only a few days before.

When Jasper spoke it was like the world could be only sunshine and roses, and he could paint up a picture of Emmet fighting a bear so vividly that I almost believed I had been there. I rested my head in the crook of his neck, and kissed his pale white skin as a thank you. Even though he took the edge of off everything, he could not extinguish the fact that it was there, and it was there all the time.

Just when Jasper laughed softly, getting to the part where Emmett would attack the bear with an attitude, Bella suddenly appeared again.

There she was, her cheeks pink against her otherwise very pale skin, underneath her eyes were dark circles and her body seemed lighter than usual. I had seen this Bella before, though something was different about her, gone was the void that used to be in her eyes, and now there was a determination, her eyes fixed on the horizon. She was standing on the cliff, and from the clearness of the vision, I understood that she was dead set on what she was going to do. The horizon filled up with black and purple clouds, promising a thunderstorm, and by the foot of the cliff, the waves were raging as they collapsed against the cliff walls, emitting sounds mimicking thunder.

The wind was picking up, pulling on Bella's hair as she stumbled towards the edge of the cliff in a way that was clumsy even for a human. The scene did not bode well, I could sense it and my whole body stiffened. Jasper noticed that I had a vision, and I felt his hand in mine, and him trying to settle my emotions so that I could focus on the vision. I made a mental note to thank him for doing that.

The closer she got to the edge, the slower she walked, and then she stood still, just two feet away from the edge, she looked around as if she was searching for something, and as she bit her lip nervously, like she had seen her do many times, I understood that she could not find what she was searching for.

Where was she, what kind of place was this? It seemed as if she was in the middle of nowhere.

One step, two steps, and then she were standing by the edge of the cliff, with a smile creeping on to her face. The waves were crashing harder and harder against the cliff, she closed her eyes and the smile grew wider. It was a content smile, and it scared me because Bella had not smiled for months, not since her birthday, it was eerie. I heard my own voice somewhere in the distance pleading, no please. None of this did Bella hear as she stood up in the balls of her feet and pushed herself off of the cliff, falling with a long scream towards the black water that was waiting for her to fall into it so that it could swallow her. The waves quickly drowned the sound of her scream, but the sound stuck in my mind as she reached the surface and disappeared underneath the water. The waves almost seemed to be silent for a moment, as I saw her vanish under the waves, and then I could see no more.

This was not good, and as I tried to see further into her future, I saw nothing; I looked into Charlie's and all I could see was him looking longingly at a clock. There was nothing to see, she was gone. Bella was dead, I thought with a gasp, and clung onto Jasper. Jasper sensed my grief, but in his confusion he could not lessen it.

"Bella," I whispered so quietly that only he would be able to hear it, he pulled me closer to his chest, and I snuggled deeper into the crook of his neck, tasting the sent that was he, savoring the thought that he was alive. "She died," in my mind I added that there was nothing we could do about it, either, we were too far away, and we could not break Edward's promise, and even if we did, we would probably not arrive in time.

"She's gone," my voice squeaked, and if I had been able to, I would have cried.

"How do you know?" He asked, his voice soft, and I wondered how I could break these news to him, he would feel so guilty, I saw that, but he had the right to know, I had never kept a vision from him.

"She jumped into the ocean, and now I can't see into her future." He tensed, his face crumbled into a pained face, and I trailed my finger along the lines his pain caused on his face.

"It's not your fault," I whispered, looking into his eyes. "Most decisions are made in a millisecond, and we can't be accounted for those decisions, you can't be because you just did what your instincts told you, but," I paused, knowing this would hurt a lot to say, "Bella had time to think over her choice." After that, I could not speak anymore, the tugging at my heart grew into pain, something like this I had not felt before, it was so consuming. It was fascinating and horrible at the same time.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, despite what I had said.

Who was going to tell Edward? Edward needed to know, and I knew what he would do with that information, but we could not withhold it from him, as much as I wanted to.

"Jasper," I said after a while of silence, when the impact of what had happened started to settle, though I could not fully believe what had actually happened, "I need to go back to Forks." There was no protest from

Jasper, I sensed that he felt like he had no right to object. "I will tell them about Bella, but don't say anything about me leaving, ok?" He nodded his head in acceptance, but neither of us went to stand up. We needed this moment to ourselves, before another kind of reality would have to intrude in our lives. Grieving was here now.


End file.
